i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
