Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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