turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
