I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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