whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
