He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have fence marks all over my body
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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