Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
