Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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