oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
