Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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