we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
