there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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