i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize