why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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