this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize