you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
