I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
