You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
