so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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