So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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