Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
