Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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