Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
