i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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