I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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