he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
