I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
