How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
