so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
