Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
