Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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