the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
