sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
