I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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