I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize