question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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