at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
