the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
His nipple licking is glorious
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