"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
