His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize