I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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