I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
