Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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