you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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