Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
