U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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