i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When are your genitals available?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
