Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
