Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
