home. puking in laundry basket.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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