I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
