Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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