i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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