I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
