Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
