P.S. I can't hear my feet
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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