the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
