There was a lot of him and a little penis
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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