Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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