I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
