All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
