We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You were trust falling into bushes
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
