I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
